Friday, April 22, 2011

Adventures in Walmart

First of all let me state that I do not like Walmart.  I really don't.  It seems to stand for everything that is wrong with America: rampant consumerism, general chintziness, sweat-suits, the elevation of mayonnaise as its own food group, etc...  That said, I do go there sometimes, generally out of necessity, since there isn't much else (especially when it comes to costume-making supplies) any nearer than Spokane.

So I went there this morning, with the brilliant notion of making a quick trip (one-stop shopping, as advertised) to take care of my costuming needs, as well as getting some Fontina and White Truffle Oil for the fondue tonight, and some picnic items, so that I could kidnap Aaron on his lunch break and whisk him away to consume said picnic items in a sunny patch at the Colville Park.  

One-stop shopping indeed!  For one thing, they make it impossible to get anything you want in under an hour, bringing me to the conclusion that my sister's old theory about the energy-sucking machine at the heart of Walmart might not be far off the mark.  Then, the cooking oil section which contained nothing but olive oil and PAM.  Not even Sesame Oil.  I went against my tradition of not asking for help and enquired of an employee whether they had any White Truffle Oil.  The look she gave me, along with her, "What is that?" were priceless.  But I'm sounding like a terrible snob.  The thing is, I don't make a regular habit out of buying things like White Truffle Oil (who can afford to?) but one likes to have them available for special occasions.  I mean, few people drink Champagne every day, but every grocery store has at least a few bottles of Cook's.  They also didn't have any Fontina.

I also enjoyed the various reactions of the Walmartites to the outfit I was wearing.  Admittedly, it was a little strange, consisting in part of a polka-dot street tutu, striped knee socks, and lace-up striped fingerless gloves.  But I like wearing interesting things when I don't have to worry about work-wear or anything.  Anyway, it brought on an assortment of different looks, the most prominent of which were the grins of the old ladies who clearly appreciated that I was having a good time, and the double-takes of the old men who seemed to think I must be a recent escapee from Planet Crazy.

However, I was able to make make my purchases and escape (I think Walmart is Planet Crazy) just in time to race into Safeway for the White Truffle Oil and Fontina and still make it to the bank in time for the scheduled kidnapping.  And the sunny park was lovely. All in all a productive and satisfying morning.

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