I'm somewhat ashamed to state that I've been rather grumpy lately, the combined result of a cough which refuses to leave me in peace even after a month and another form rejection which arrived recently. En route home after work today I realized that this must stop. Eight years ago I was in the midst of a stint of chemotherapy, had lost my hair and had two life-threatening allergic reactions to the drugs that were supposed to keep my immune system strong. Yet I remember that being one of the most peaceful times of my life. Weird, no? People talk about living for the moment, but you never realize what that means until the moment really is all you have. Somehow, at sixteen I was able to place my future, my life or my death, in the hands of God, and enjoy what I had. Shakespeare was right, "the readiness is all". Life or death, to be ready for either... and when I found out it was to be life, it was almost harder to get used to, because I'd all but forgotten how to plan for the future. And now I get myself out of sorts because of a cough and the whims of a literary agent I've never met. Have I forgotten? Not entirely. I still enjoy the simple things. I still weave my life into a fairy tale of my own creation, and if the villains are a little darker, well, the heroes are a little brighter, for what is the measure of a hero if not the strength of the foes he has vanquished. It is only a little harder sometimes to remember, so I am making a list of good things about today.
1. The weather. It's the end of Autumn. You can feel the approach of snow. The Mountain Ash berries are so bright they almost glow.
2. The patch of Sweet Alysium I found under a hedge on my walk home, still fresh and sweet-smelling after all this cold weather.
3. My iTunes playlist... an interesting mix of Simon and Garfunkel, Giori, Beats Antique, The Weepies, The Killers, Jeremy Fisher, Duke Special, John Tams and others, along with selections from Blood Brothers, Phantom of the Opera, and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode, Once More With Feeling.
4. My delicious mug of tea, and the slice of birthday cake left over from Aaron's birthday party last night.
5. Last night's birthday party belongs here too, even if it's not technically part of today. Good times with great people.
6. The cough, while still in evidence, did not wake me up at all last night. Hurrah for a good night's sleep!
7. My wonderful husband, lovely parents, and excellent sister, not to mention a whole parcel of friends, near and far, who make life interesting at all times.
8. The new novel, which is finally coming together in my mind.
9. Elephants! Even if there aren't any nearby, just the fact that such a creature exists makes me happy. Same with giraffes.
10. Ballet class tonight.
11. The fact that my moody spell seems to have evaporated.